Quite a differnt story
by JustAGirlIGuess
Summary: "Before A, I hadn't made myself sick in almost two years. Now? Quite a differnt story." Hanna's thoughts before and after she makes herself sick. Oneshot.


**My First Pretty Little Liars fic! Hope you enjoy, :). For the stake of the story, Hanna and Ali never went to her dads, since thats the first time Hanna makes herself sick. Never happened on the show, so it's not happening here.**

**I own nothing, I mean, why else would I be on fan fiction at 1am?**

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You're better then this, you don't have to resort to this. A part of me thought, while another snickered. Come on, just do it already hefty Hanna!

I did.

I leaned back against the wall and cried, my mascara running down my face. I was brought back to the first time I ever made myself, throw up.

We were all at Ali's for a sleepover. She came out with a tray of food and drinks.

"_Lifewater and Sunchips. Sorry no soda and potato chips hefty." She teased, smirking at me. I just blushed and whished I could say something._

"_Ali!" Spencer hissed._

"_What? Hanna knows I'm kidding. Right?"_

"_Uh yeah." I said._

"_See?" She smirked._

"_Well you've been 'kidding' a lot these days, With all of us." Spencer spat._

"_She said she was kidding!" Emily shot._

"_Easy killer, you too Spence." Ali rolled her eyes. "Now girls-"_

"_Spencer's right." Aria piped up._

"_Shut up Aria, I was talking."_

"_Shut up? Real nice Ali." Spencer said._

"_I was talking!" She whined then narrowed her eyes and smirked a little, looking right at me, "right Hanna?" She asked innocently, tilting her head to the side a little._

"_I guess but-"_

"_See!"_

"_Wasn't Hanna talking this time?" Spencer asked, hands on hip. My stomach flipped, this was all my fault._

"_Oh, fine whatever. What were you going to say?" Alison looked right at me._

"_Um that it still wasn't nice for you to tell Aria to shut up."_

"_Why not? She interrupted me."_

"_Yeah but she's you friend and," I didn't know what else to say, we all knew Ali knew this was wrong. She knew that too, she just enjoyed testing us._

"_it's rude." Spencer finished for me._

"_Someone had PMS," Ali said looking at Spencer the entire time._

"_And someone's a bitch." She shot back._

"_Leave." Ali growled._

"_Fine." She said gathering her stuff. Aria gathered hers too._

"_You too? I know Emily wants to stay," she smirked and Emily blushed, "but what about you Hanna?" _

"_I'm going." I said quietly. Ali, not used to defeat glared. Aria walked out before Ali could say anything. So she looked to Spencer._

"_Have fun being a uptight bitch!" She called as Spencer slammed the door. She looked at me and smiled._

"_Have fun being a little piggy!" She teased, pointing at my stomach. I ran out and called my mom, trying hard to cry as I made up a excuse to why I was leaving. _

I devoured chips, ice cream and any other junk food in sight. Feeling fat and ashamed, I made myself get to my knees and throw up. Two times. My mom heard and I was glad, relieved I told her I left because I was sick.

I heard the front door slam and the "clickety-clack" of my mom's shoes against the floor.

"Hanna? I brought take out! Where are you?"

"Um just a minute!" I called and wiped the makeup off my face and bounded downstairs.

"Hey," she said before wrinkling her nose, "Hanna did you get sick?" She asked. Shit, I didn't even think about how I would smell like whatever just came out of my stomach.

"Yeah, just before you came home. I was gonna take a bath." I lied.

"Oh sweetie, go ahead. I don't think Chinese is probably the best thing for you right now."

"Nope. I think I'll just have some soup and tea." I gave a small, sad smile and bounded upstairs.

I hope she didn't notice how often I said "I was getting sick", or "I ate something bad", my usual excuse for making myself throw up. You cant say food poisoning if you just had it last week. But it's not like this is a occasional thing, just when it needs to be done.

When I head Ali's voice snickering in my head, "Hanna's lookin extra heft tonight!". One time I had a tight shirt on that made my belly stick out and the first thing she said was, "when ya due hefty?". Anytime I heard her comments in my head, laughing and teasing, I would run to the bathroom.

It had been awhile since the last time this happened, but with A, there was a smaller gap between each binge and purge session.

A had done a lot of things, to all of us. Hell, they even ruined Aria's parent's marriage! But for me, it was the feeling of being watched, constantly. A reminding of what a loser I used to be, and a fat one at that. It was just plain scary, to think someone who knew all these things about you and what you've done. Scary to think the only other person who knew these things, was dead, which left me thinking and wondering how A knew certain things, for hours.

Before A, I hadn't made myself sick in almost two years. Now? Quiet a different story.

A very different story.

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**Aw, I really feel bad for Hanna. I just wish the show would touch on her eating disorder, its big in the books and should be the same on the show. **

**Review? What? Yes? Oh perfect! ;)**

**-JustAGirlIGuess**


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